this life is so called MURDER

Fri, 18 Jun 2004 17:57:27 GMT

..dear diary, my teen angst has a body count..

this is number 1

[im sick of my emo entries. time to start over. From First to Last 6/29]

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 00:12:15 GMT

im so sick of my god damn mom right now..

for the past 6 months i have been working my ass off to save up for my guitar (which im not even getting anymore) and i managed to save $75 and had it put in my savings. And I have $32 on hand and i need $23 more to get my new camera. but today i got my $60 from my grandma which im not even USING for my camera. now she wont take it out. i specifically told her that it was my ticket and a cd(s). and then she brings the excuse of me spending ALL my money on CD's. i havent bought a god damn CD since December in Las Vegas and that was the new Blink album. and she won't let me download music anymore. so what the fuck am i do?!?! i fucking love music and that bitch it is stopping me! and she fucking signs me up for Guitar lessons. WHAT IS THE POINT OF DOING THAT IF I CANT BUY CD'S, DOWNLOAD MUSIC, OR ATTEND CONCERTS?!?!?!?

half the bands i listen dont even come on the radio (like i listen to it anyways)or TV.. just the late night shows once and every blue moon. which I ALWAYS MISS! i fucking hate her! atleast my Dad tries to give me money or buys whatever i want, or drives to concerts, despite the fact he barely gets paid working two jobs (all day and night).

fuck fuck fuck

Tue, 15 Jun 2004 17:43:24 GMT

..you are so fucking annoying..

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 19:27:37 GMT

"Obsessions" comes out tomorrow bitch. and they're coming back on July 19th, with Lost Prophets (x_x) for $15. i think i may skip.

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 03:24:21 GMT

dude im a fucking creative writer..

i need to fucking write shit..

im a poseur..

god i suck..

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 19:01:24 GMT

The Last Samurai is a REALLY good fucking movie! go rent it damnit!

i just relized todays the 13th and the Eighteen Visions show was last night. and i thought it was NEXT saturday. and my dad was off last night which means i could have gone with Brittany. FUCK! do you see what being bored over summer does? you lose fucking track of time!

i sigh for the fact that there are no good shows coming. i guess the next one will be Warped Tour or something. gah i hate myself right now.

two CD's buying -sometime- this week:

My Chemical Romance - Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge
Eighteen Visions - Obsession

three cheers for money

...EDIT... this is the last time i will save money for something and put it in my savings. now that i have my money the bitch wont let me take it out. next time i save for something im keeping every cent and dollar in my room, in a bottle or something.

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 16:53:48 GMT

i went to books-a-million and picked up my books that i have to read for school. i got that dumb bee book, A Clockwork Orange, and 1984. [after leaving there i got into an argument with mother again about me, money, and change. i feel like a fucking god right now :)]

i also managed to pick up the latest AP issue. which is pretty much about the election this year. its really educating. this issue also made me realize what CD's are coming out this year that i DESPARETLY need to buy.

today is Reagan's funeral and its about fucking time. we've been mourning over this guy for almost a week and we dont even care that jazz legend Ray Charles died. he was blinded when he was younger and still managed to play piano AND the saxophone. thats a fucking hero in my book not Reagan!

"If you don't want to find your feet in a pair of boots in a desert, you better wake the fuck up." - Justin Sane of Anti-Flag

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 18:11:39 GMT

its thursday. i listened to Thursday all-day.

i feel bad because i bummed $60 off my grandma. i know she wouldn't care she always gives me money when i need it. but this time i really needed some fucking cash. im going to buy my $27-$30 ticket for Warped Tour before i go to Pennslyvania for who knows how long & with the remaining money buy some CD's like..i dont know--MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE and the new EIGHTEEN VISIONS "Obsession" album.

..i love the smell of flesh..

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 19:57:43 GMT

i got a little bored today.. so i decided to download some more videos of different bands & it only takes 30 minutes :D.. i just pray that when i finish this i will be able to fit it all on the CD..

videos downloaded:

Thrice - All That's Left (acoustic)
Thrice - Stare at the Sun (acoustic)
Thrice - Trust (acoustic)
A Static Lullaby - Radio Flyer's Last Journey (live)
The Bled - The Sound of Sulfur (live)
My Chemical Romance - Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us (live)
My Chemical Romance - Headfirst for Halos (live)
Fall Out Boy - The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes (live)
Thursday - For the Workforce, Drowning (live)

videos i will download:

Thrice - Cold Cash, Colder Hearts (acoustic)
Story of the Year - Until the Day I Die (live)
Boys Night Out - Sketch Artist Composite (live)
Boys Night Out - Where We Breathe (live)
A Static Lullaby - The Shooting Star that Destroyed Us All (live)
From Autumn to Ashes - The After Dinner Payback (live)

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 19:52:17 GMT

for a strange reason i feel like the coolest person in the world today. lets just say i hung in the house, as usua'l, but this time alone. no brother. i had music playing all day [fall out boy, thrice, boys night out, taking back sunday, blink] that was fucking loud and the bass was up.

it may seem weird. but thats why i feel fucking cool. now i must get dressed for guitar.

Tue, 08 Jun 2004 01:07:35 GMT

MCR returns tomorrow. and me with no money. fuck being fiftten, broke, and bored.

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 17:13:14 GMT

i havent been pissed off at the television since September 11. now im pissed again because of Regan. who cares!?!?! there's no need to show LIVE COVERAGE of the public viewing on (almost)every fucking channel.

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 18:56:38 GMT

i just saw Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.. it is fucking better than the other two.. i was amazed.. go see it if you haven't already..

shit.

im at home again.

fuck.

im bored.

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 14:10:19 GMT

i have $110 saved up towards my $200 guitar (w/ free shipping XD).. h'm yea..

</p>

im going to see the third Harry Potter today with my brother once again.. can't wait.. whoop whoop. i really don't have n e thing else to say. but go out and rent "Trainspotting". if you like Ewan Mcgregor or drugs than it's perfect for you.</p>

Sat, 05 Jun 2004 00:59:22 GMT

someone fucking shoot me before i do it myself

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 14:37:21 GMT

i finally changed my guitar strings. but now i need to figure out how to cut off the extra string. i cant find pliers anywhere. and scissors DEFINETLY dont work. gah.

Harry Potter comes out today.

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 01:11:47 GMT

i usually don't these but what the hell? one won't hurt

You are TV/Film!

Which Arts Area should YOU be placed in?
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Thu, 03 Jun 2004 23:50:37 GMT

The Secret of Easy Yoke

i could hear the church bells ringing
they pealed aloud your praise
the members faces were smiling
with their hands out stretched to shake
it's true they did not move me
my heart was hard and tired
their perfect fire annoyed me
i could not find you anywhere

could someone please tell me the story
of sinners ransomed from the fall
i still have never seen you
and some days i don't love you at all

the devoted were wearing bracelets
to remind them why they came
some concrete motivation
when the abstract could not do the same
but if all that's left is duty
i'm falling on my sword
at least then i would not serve
an unseen distant lord

if this is only a test
i hope that i'm passing
cause i'm losing steam
and i still want to trust you

peace be still

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 16:58:44 GMT

The Cure

7/24 - Sound Advice Amphitheater, West Palm Beach, FL
7/25 - Tampa Amphitheater, Tampa, FL

*sigh* if only :(

Mon, 31 May 2004 13:28:59 GMT

im going to see Shrek 2 with my bro today
since no one else wants to hang out wit me
i have nothing to do
and cant go to the Trades' show tonite

what a summer eh? i only have one day planned for complete mayhem and fun and thats August 1.

Sun, 30 May 2004 20:05:08 GMT

over it now..
bye past
hello memory

Sun, 30 May 2004 03:40:42 GMT

..there are so many ways to kill a person..

Sat, 29 May 2004 12:26:48 GMT

lie awake, wondering,
if things could have been much different.
second chance, what's become
of a friendship if you can call this one?
stayed in touch, stood behind,
while i gave you space
and you invade mine
while everyone makes mistakes.

you let me down for the last time,
truth prevails
and theres nothing you can hide.
and i wash my hands of you,
getting on with my life.

</3

Fri, 28 May 2004 19:51:05 GMT

summer sucks. im so fucking bored im about to kill myself or something. i have no money. i cant work at the winn dixie because both parents work during the weekdays. i cant do anything.

my mom signed me up for guitar lessons. i really don't want to take any because its a waste of money im not going to do anything with my guitar or my ability to play. i want to do something with it but there's no point. everything and everyone died--i died.

dec. 2, 1988 - may 28, 2004
an explanation is saved for later

Wed, 26 May 2004 00:46:21 GMT

fuck you </3